Well hated

It’s pretty unusual that I agree with the entirety of someone’s opinion.  It is so rare in fact, that I am again not doing it here.

But this guy gets damn close, about as close as anyone I can remember with hitting the proverbial nail on the head.

http://www.michaelzwilliamson.com/blog/item/the-post-in-which-i-piss-off-everybody

I especially like this part:

Then they came for the gun owners, and you liberal shitbags threw me under the bus, even though I’d done nothing wrong.  So when they come to put you on the train, you can fucking choke and die.

As you know, I’m the first to call out a blogger for attempting to separate the nation in to the “liberal” and “conservative” buckets.  But other than his slight two-party infatuation and a little bit of gay-fear, this guy is pretty solid in his words.

Anyway, good on you Michael Z Williamson.  We need this kind of plain and honest discourse to point this country in the right direction again.

Membership has its… Downside

When reading an article like this one, I’m reminded of the timeless words of Groucho Marx who famously wrote:

“Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member”.

Or, perhaps more poignantly, Gandhi’s words say it better:

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

The problem wasn’t ever the Republican party, it’s the Republicans; it’s the NRA, it’s the radical right, and it’s the crusaders against science and logic.

If history has taught us anything, I would think it is that an organization is only as “good” as its membership.

The best laid plans of… Idiots

I read an article earlier today explaining why Romney lost the election.  The writer claimed that his biggest problem was the absence of cash early in the campaign.  Other articles have claimed that the 47% gaffe cost Romney the win, and still others are sticking with the Latino vote or maybe it was “all the single ladies”.

But the truth is that none of these is solely responsible for Mitt’s loss, and honestly, the combination of all of them still doesn’t account for Obama’s win.  The real reason wasn’t Hispanic voters and anyone who owns a TV or a radio knows it sure as hell wasn’t related to campaign funding.  It was Mitt himself.

How quickly we forget the early days of the circus-like battle for the Republican nomination.  The most entertaining part of the entire election process, for me, was to watch the almost overnight “support” that Mitt Romney created when it was clear he would get the official Republican nomination.  Now, you’ll have to think back a bit, through the haze of campaign commercials and robo-calls.  Let’s think back to a time where Romney was not only trailing behind the infamously insane Rick Santorum, but even crazier Michele Bachmann, and way behind “Moon-base” Newt Gingrich.  No one was singing his praises then…  But I digress.  It is silly of me to think Republican voters weren’t “all in” on their pal Mitt from the start.

Or is it?

Maybe what really happened here is that the GOP settled for the candidate who said the least number of fucking-stupid things in public.  Maybe the right just decided that cult-ish white-bread mayonnaise wasn’t quite as bad as a heaping helping of bat-shit crazy horse radish.  And, this seemed like a safe play.  Well, right up until the media got a heavy helping of Mormonism’s wacky beliefs and Pseudo-religious Republican rape commentary.

It’s post time, Republican leadership.  Time to accept that, not only did you put a douche-canoe in a completely unfair position of having to run against a far less douchey politician, but you’ve completely lost control of your party altogether.  It’s not hard, really, to pick out the exact point when things started to spiral out of control.  You were never “in control”.  And to even suggest that you had a handle on the evolution of your own platform is just completely invalid.

And while we’re on the topic of post time, I’d like to take a minute and call out the Romney fans.  You aren’t Romney fans, you are “Guy-Who-Is-Not-Obama” fans.  Seriously, you would have voted for Republican nominee Count Dracula if he was running against Obama, so stop telling everyone what a huge Romney fan you are.

None of you fucktards even knew he existed before he started shaking his rich ass in your face at the Republican National Convention debates.

So what happened to the Republican party platform?

The Tea Party happened.  Started by the GOP as “a far right-wing” group (presumably to make the rest of the party appear more centrist) “The Tea Party” concept has now totally backfired and completely taken over the Republican party.  Unsurprisingly, this has left no discernible centrist opinion on the red side of the isle and systematically alienated all but the most religious and thereby, least logical, of the bunch.  I don’t want to ruin the end of the movie, GOP, but most of the country is CENTRIST.  Seriously mind blowing stuff, I know!  Sorry you had to find out this way.

The Good News

If nothing else at least we’ve proven that the Faux News fear mongering, although almost as addictive as Jerry Springer, didn’t sway the American public to the point of actually electing this guy based solely on the fact that he “isn’t Obama”.  Additionally, just like the last dozen wanna-be-President-elects, Romney will quietly slip into 3rd page news and continue to make insanely stupid commentary distancing him from the rest of the population from the sidelines.

The Bad News

We have, yet again, proven that out of 300 million Americans, the best we can come up with is more bought-and-paid-for, corporate-backed whores who stand for nothing and will completely change their “beliefs” on a moment’s notice to get your vote.

Tall glass of STFU

I’m surrounded by jack-holes.

Watching the debate after already picking your favorite is like reading internet reviews of your car model after you’ve already purchased it.

Do all of us a favor and don’t post that political rant you are about to submit about that out-of-context-one-thing that one guy just said.

Seriously:  Quoting asshats just makes you one.

Fact > Fiction

Holy bat-shit, Batman!  When I first saw this video on Google+ I thought it was a feeble attempt at someone editing the audio to make a funny point.

Then I realized that this video is UNEDITED.  That’s actually Rick Perry, actually saying those things.

I guess the gloves are off, and we’re on to the next chapter of crazy.

Here’s the link to YouTube

Right, left, or other?

This is an interesting quiz.  It’s short, and over-simplified, but still offers a little bit of political value:

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz

In case you’re wondering, which I’m SURE you are, I scored:

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 70%

Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 40%

According to your answers, the political group that agrees with you most is…

Centrist prefer a “middle ground” regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tend to oppose “political extremes,” and emphasize what they describe as “practical” solutions to problems.

Republicans Tea Bagged

Movie theaters in the early 30’s echoed with the sounds of Price’s famous quote:

I’ve created a monster!
– (Frankenstein, 1931)

And now, history has come full circle as we hear the same cry coming from the right side of congress.

“Some Tea Partiers say they can pinpoint the precise moment when they made it clear to the Republican Party they had no intention of being its lapdog.”

Oh, finally!  Hysterical irony and reap-sow commentary will replace tired political rhetoric for a short while.  Anyone want to take bets on weather this story will be covered on Faux News?  We can all rejoice in the reminder that sometimes, fact is far stranger, and more entertaining, than fiction.

I can’t WAIT to watch Jon Stewart tonight.

No, join my party.

Quite possibly because I was educated in American public schools, I had no idea what “left” or “right”, “conservative” or “liberal” meant in the political realm until after high school.  That’s right, all those years of school and no one explained to me (including my AMERICAN GOVERNMENT class) what those words meant, and what the parties stood for.

In the interest of helping young people pick their political party affiliations, I have put together this helpful guide with a checklist.

Of course, we all know there are ‘other’ parties, but they will certainly never rise to power, so why bother even mentioning them…

So here we go!

Republican  [re·pub·li·can] :
(wikipedia)
The “right of center” American political party founded in 1854 who’s basic premise of membership is “Do you make more than $60,000 a year?” and “Are you terrified of a deity and his son?”.  The GOP (Grand Ole Party, look it up) has spent a good portion of the Obama presidency crying of fiscal responsibility while running this year’s winter meeting at a high-end hotel in Hawaii.  Today’s Republican is an angry, Tea Party member hellbent on skipping work to hold up poorly spelled signs who’s message is provided by the self-proclaimed conservative Glenn Beck.  The untold basis for this party is to protect the rich, and by rich, I mean Americans who are under the impression that they are well-to-do.  And by protect, I mean completely give up all rights and money to the truly rich.
Should I join this party?
A Republican checklist, do you:

  • Watch, and believe everything you see on Fox news
  • Fear your god, and provide him with money
  • Hate homosexuals, but love Sarah Palin regardless of how fucking stupid she is.
  • Don’t know the “Colbert Report” is a satire

Democrat  [demə krat′] :
(wikipedia)
The “left of center” American political party self-described as “liberal”, notably older than it’s counterpart the Republican party.  The Democratic party consists of some of America’s most dimwitted sissy boys who, in the current congress, are absolutely terrified to vote on anything that might upset anyone even in the face of a majority strength (formerly a super-majority until just recently).  Membership in this party is powered by the “protect main street from the rich” mentality, although there isn’t a poor man in Washington regardless of political partisanship.

Should I join this party?
A Democratic checklist, do you:

  • Believe that re-appointing the head of the Fed and massively greedy banks to fix the economy is a good idea.
  • Fight the red-tie-wearing rich elite by taking pointers from… Blue-tie-wearing rich elite.
  • Wish to be a vegetarian because scantily-clad supermodels are in cages.
  • Anyone has ever called you a “liberal douchebag”