The fifth, and final chapter of my article “Tricks of the Trade”. See the first post here See the whole category here.

Now, get to reading…

A Few Closing Remarks

Be a Low-maintenance conversationalist

The key to conversation with your target is to give her the impression that it is being led by both of you, but requires little effort to keep it going. With the large number of possible guys to meet, women assign great value to a guy who is ‘low-maintenance’ in the area of conversation. Try to have 2 or 3 emergency topics before approaching her, just in case the conversation gets stale: “Where did you grow up?”, “Any brothers or sisters?”, “Where did you go to High School/College?” Engage her, challenge her, and entice her, but do it with subtlety. Practice, practice, practice.

Try to have fun.

Dating is a game that should be played with smiles and laughter. Don’t expect to take someone home every night; applying that kind of pressure to yourself will show in your attitude (especially when it gets late in the evening), and she’ll pick up on it. Remember that every encounter with a woman is a lesson. Minimally, you’ll get experience that you can use in a later meeting.

Mix it up a bit

For well-rounded knowledge of women, approach targets of all walks-of-life. Talk to blonds, brunettes, tall girls, short girls, and even women of another color (if you like). These experiences will help you find common trends, and provide you with a more accurate game-plan before you approach the next one. Most people will tell you not to generalize, but I won’t. Generalizations exist, because they’re usually accurate.

Make her feel beautiful

This is a great tactic. Women (like everyone else) love to feel beautiful and desirable. Try to create a situation where she gets to be the ‘hot chick that everyone wants’. This works especially well if she isn’t the best looking girl in the place. Flirt and be friendly, her ego will do the rest.

Be confident

There’s a fine line between confident and pretentious. Find that line and stay on the confident side. Remember that a sale is being made here. Either you are selling the idea that she should be with you, or she’s selling you the idea that she shouldn’t. Speak deliberately, try not to half-ass your comments or gestures. Follow through.

Don’t be a puppy

Try to be 70%-80% available. If she walks off to talk to someone, stay put and relax with your circle of friends until she gives you the ‘come hither’. People love puppies that follow them everywhere, but no one respects them. Let her do some of the work!

Get Educated

There are a number of books available that study the human mind. Hit your local ‘cool bookstore’ and read a few. And try out some of my tips for meeting women while you’re there!

The third chapter of my article “Tricks of the Trade”.  See the first post here See the whole category here. There are 2 more chapters, one each week, so get your learn on and check back next Sunday!

Now, get to reading…

3. “Shake hands and come out fighting!”

“One thing you can count on is that women will consistently make poor choices regarding their relationships. How many times have you thought ‘WTF!?  What is that girl doing with that douche-bag!?'”

Being good looking and confidant are not enough if you don’t have the “in” with your target. You actually have to talk to her! There are a few approaches we’ll discuss in this section.

First, let’s get the lingo out of the way.

An “in” is what I call your connection to the girl. You’ve seen her before, you have a mutual friend, or you share the same hairstyle (God help you!), whatever.

The “target” is the girl you’re after. She’s the one you’re trying to meet/date/get to know/take home.

Your “wing man” is a friend/brother/what-have-you that is along for the ride. He knows the rules, and the two of you have worked out the proper signals to know when to save you when saving is needed, and get the hell away when the situation calls for it. You will be his wing man as well, so communication is key.

The Cold Approach

This is, by far, the ugliest way to meet someone. The cold approach is a lot like trying to sell a product or service by way of telephone solicitation. I always suggest against this type of approach for a few reasons:

1. You’re giving her (and everyone she talks to about you) the impression that you pick up women all the time.
2. Many women will turn you down based solely on spite for being considered a ‘pick-up’.
3. This method makes you look un-cultured, and sophomoric to all those standing around you watching, including other targets.
4. Based on all of the above, your first impression can be shot out the window before you even open your mouth.

This is not to say that the cold approach can’t be used, just that it is the most difficult to pull off. I’ve found that this approach is the most commonly used meeting technique at nightclubs.

Care to join us for a game?

This is a variation of the cold approach that works much better than walking up out of nowhere and introducing yourself. The idea here is “get her involved”! Shoot some pool, play some darts, start a drinking game, whatever… Be wary of the first impression during this meeting, it can make or break you.

Have I seen you here before?

This is an incredibly old, but still quite useful technique. When you become a frequent patron in a bar, restaurant or nightclub you’ll start to recognize the familiar faces that also frequent the establishment. Although this is still a bit of a cold approach, you can rest assured (a little, anyway) that you already have something in common. It’s always a good idea to have a wing-man along for the ride, hanging back ready to save you if need be. If you keep him at the table where you’re sitting, or playing a game close by, you can signal and get the “Hey! Come over here!” save, if you need it. The trick to this type of meeting is not to turn it into a cold approach. If you have to walk more than 8 feet to talk to her, you’re too far away and this can become awkward. Try to position yourself near her (not right next to her) at a table or the bar before the attempted meeting.

Let me introduce you to my friend (a guy friend introduces you)

This is probably the best way to meet women. It is especially useful if your friend knows the girl better than just casually. People put great emphasis on their “friend’s friends” because they know and understand what it takes to be a friend to that person. There’s also a false-sense of security that goes along with this type of meeting. The girl, usually, believes that her ‘guy friend’ wouldn’t try to hook her up with a one-night-stand. So you’re already ahead of the game in that respect!

Let me introduce you to my friend (a girl friend introduces you)

This can be even more effective than the guy friend method. I say ‘can be’ because of the subconscious stipulations that occur when a meeting of this type happens. If a girl at your local hang out introduces you to one of her girl friends, there is generally an underlying set of questions (that your target has) that can’t be answered right away. “Were they ever involved?”, “How did it end, if they were”, “Would she introduce me to him if he was an ex?” These can be tricky to work around (especially if you did date the friend!) But, fear not, and stay on your “A” game. If you dated the girl that introduced you, try to stay away from the topic. Don’t blatantly avoid it, though, because she’ll see right through you.

The long-awaited second chapter of my article “Tricks of the Trade”.  See the first post here See the whole category here. There are 3 more chapters, one each week, so get your learn on and check back next Sunday!

Now, get to reading…

Chapter 2: Dressing the part

First, the Disclaimer

I am, by no means a fashion guru. In fact, most of my fashion sense comes from reproducing the trends I see on other men. A good practice, I’ve found, is to take a leisurely walk through the ‘high-end’ stores in the mall. These stores usually include Abercrombie & Fitch, The Gap, Structure, etc. Pay attention to what the men in the posters and marketing drops are wearing. This is usually a great indicator of what’s currently popular and considered ‘trendy’. I also highly recommend asking a woman (an impartial friend, acquaintance, or friend’s girlfriend) what looks best on you.

Brand vs. Price

If your clothing brand is important to you, by all means, pick up the latest fashions at these top-dollar stores. If however, you’re like me and don’t want to spend $40 on a pair of boxer shorts… Once you’ve finished making your mental shopping list, hit the local JC Penny, Ross, or other moderately-priced clothing stores and find equivalents to what you’ve picked out for yourself.

Color and Style

The general rule of thumb here is to keep your colors evenly matched (as much as possible). No one will make fun of you for wearing a yellow shirt with khakis or jeans, but leave the green cargo pants at home.   Just keep the colors mute and simple, no purple, neon anything, or other wild colors.  Another tip: Stay away from pleated pants.  They never fit right, and they bunch in the crotch when you sit.

Shoes

Ignoring GQ Magazine (not even going to link those assbags), no man needs more than 4 pair of shoes. Find yourself a nice pair of black shoes, and a pair of brown shoes. These shoes should have laces and be leather or suede. Pick up a nice pair of tennis shoes, not too much color. And get a nice pair of sandals for the beach/pool/Jacuzzi.

T-Shirts

You can’t have too many. Try to buy at least 2 in as many colors as you can find. Screen printed T’s are coming back in style as well. Keep in mind that these are very casual and should be used for those types of occasions only. 90% of the time I wear a solid T-shirt under my ‘going out’ shirt, which is usually a stripped polo, or a long sleeve solid color shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows.

Dress to impress

Always try to dress for the occasion, which usually means, dress for where you’re going. If it’s the local bar, take it down a notch. Being over-dressed is just as bad as being under-dressed. Safe rule of thumb: The local bar and the Trendy restaurant: jeans, T’s, polo shirts. The cool bookstore: Jeans or pants, long sleeve shirt.