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Remember that post about that “Won’t get fooled again” song by The Who?  Yeah, I figured you forgot…  Go read it again.

So here we are… Again… Right back to where we started.  Some might remember Ben Bernanke, the lovable head of the US Federal Reserve.  I mean, Time Magazine even made him man of the year in 09!  Sure!  Anything was better than that Greenspan jack ass, right?!

Of course that was before everything started to head south.  That was before the bubble on sub-prime lending (basically akin to lending money to gophers and expecting to get it back, two-fold), selling off “A-rated” securities to countries that don’t even speak English (nor probably even know that they’re buying bad bets on real estate in the US), and a 10% unemployment rate.

Basically, he was the man, until everything fell the fuck apart.

The good news is, we learn from our past:

• Tomorrow’s banking surely won’t be led by the same asshat who helped get us into this mess.
• Tomorrow’s lending regulations will be stiff, but fair so America can start lending again.
• Tomorrow’s banking regulations will protect those of us on “Main St” from getting screwed in the ass… Again… By the same greedy bankers that we’ve surely thrown out of their posh offices.

Well… No, actually.  None of that is taking place.

The asshat is back at the helm, the same greedy, rich, jackasses that drove our economy into the toilet are still in positions of power at your favorite banking and insurance institutions, and we’re getting ready to start the madness all over again.

And no one seems to care.

The truth is, the current economic tide is so rocky that we’re willing to accept anything at all to get ‘back on our feet’.  Americans are so hungry for a new Hummer or some other overpriced pile of steel that we’re all anxiously awaiting the day when some Fed big wig or NYSE jockey comes on TV and tells us that it’s OK to start buying shit we don’t need again.

Hey, Mr. President!  Do us a favor and Google the following sentence:

“what caused the recession”

Make legislation based on that, not the folks in the banking and insurance industries that fund your re-election campaign.

This is an interesting (albeit obvious) graph.

I’m no statistician, but it looks to me that as religion goes up, so does divorce and crime.

Don’t bother with the hate mail, this is statistical fact.  I’m just posting it.

Tonight is gearing up to be an interesting speech by the 43rd (technically) president of the United States.  In case you didn’t know, or live in a box, 9pm EST is the State of the Union address.

In a whirlwind of general American anger, distrust and recession, this guy’s speech writers have a lot of work cut out for them.  Luckily, the average American is an idiot, and people are so hungry for someone with a positive message he could rattle off Bible verses, and the country would still stand in awe.

So here’s what to look for, and what to be on the look out for:

Earlier today Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs stated: “The president is going to explain why he thinks the American people are angry”  Any speech writer or first year psych major can tell you that the basic premise of this is to connect with the audience, and align himself with them.  Pretty smart… If it works.

Keep an eye out for the President’s famous “story time” as well.  He will almost certainly share the “woe’s of a family that’s had it rough” to further the listener alignment.

Hopefully, after the fluff and verbal shoulder rubbing we’ll get to some real meat.

The expected topics include:

• Increased funding for Education reforms with emphasis on student/teacher performance
• Health care… Again.
• New job legislation (although I doubt there will be any actual details here)
• A freeze on spending (claimed to be domestic spending, but what is the sense in that?)
• And, inevitably we’ll hear “government reform” again.  But this has yet to be defined in my opinion.

So there you have it.  Tune in tonight and we’ll see just how accurate my predictions are.  Here’s a spoiler, change the words above and read with conviction.  There’s your speech…

This is slightly lengthy, but VERY worth the read.

Good show dude, we’re proud of you.

An “avid” reader posted this on a forum I frequent:

I too go to [KeyboardDevil] for views on current events. I find he and keyborddevil.com to be as accurate as most of our news choices I especially like the Best Blog Ever section !!
It is the main reason my relationship stays solid .. He has saved my marriage on several occasions.

See? I’m doing something good. LOL

Once again, the holiday season is upon us. And by upon us, I mean suffocatingly draping its bloated self all over our bodies and squeezing out every last penny in our wallets.

I’ve never really been a holiday person, but if you’ve read my blog that should be no surprise.  However, seemingly to add insult to injury, even the Christians aren’t “holiday people”. Does anyone even know what this holiday is about anymore? What is it that we are celebrating, trees strung with lights? Fat guys breaking-and-entering to bring childrens’ toys? Flying reindeer? Really?

Let’s talk for a moment about the “Christmas spirit“. This is the “good will towards others” that results in traffic jams, fist fights in department stores, overcrowding of churches by people who only show up once a year, and further credit card debt.

Sounds to me like another reason to pack the malls and force me to find, yet again, the perfect gift for everyone I know.

Obama got it all wrong, instead of a $700 billion payoff for corporate America, he should have just created a second Christmas in June.

You want to save the economy?  Just guilt 300 million Americans into spending every cent they don’t have on shit they don’t need.

Here’s a thought. I’ll keep the $500 it costs me to buy gifts for everyone and their brother this year, and spend it on the shit that I want. You do the same, and we’ll call it even.

No snow-globes, no house lights, no inflatable lawn Santas (what the f#$% do these have to do with that Jesus fellow?), but let’s keep the cookies. I love me some cookies. Hell, let’s just make those all year ’round.

While visiting a Cycle Gear yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with the manager.  Apparently, your helmet has a “shelf-life”.  Meaning that, like bananas, you’ll eventually have to throw out your $700 Arai helmet because it “goes bad”.  But, when?  How long does a helmet last?

So, I did some research to find out what the life-cycle is like.

A Google search returns literally hundreds of results on internet forums and magazine websites, but I decided to go right to the source.  Since I own a Shoei, I went to them directly.

First, find out what your manufacture date is:

“Where can I find the Production Date of my SHOEI helmet?
The Production Date is located on a sticker under the center pad of your helmet.”  - source

According to the research I’ve done, 5 years is your shelf life. Now we ask the question: “Is that 5 years from manufacture date? Or 5 years from when I bought it?”

Surely, you can buy a helmet that’s been sitting on the shelf for 2 years, does this mean that you have to replace it 3 years after you buy it?  This question was actually a hell of a lot harder to answer, and consequently not addressed on their website.

With a little more digging, I found this:

Helmet Replacement
Ultimately, the useful service life of a safety helmet is dependent on the intensity and frequency of its use. Helmet replacement is recommended even if only one of the under-mentioned points applies:

1. The helmet was subjected to an impact.
2. The comfort padding or the retention system has become loose due to heavy use or display signs of deterioration.
3. The synthetic foam padding displays signs of heavy use and the helmet feels too loose. Test: with the retention system fastened, the helmet turns to the side when you gently shake your head.
4. There are indentations in the EPS liner and/or white scratches can be seen on surfaces with black paint.
5. Even if none of these is applied, we, SHOEI, recommend replacement in 5 years after it’s first purchased at retail.

So there we have it, right from the manufacturer’s mouth: Assuming the helmet is in new condition, you should replace it 5 years from purchase date.  Either way, I’m due for a new helmet.

This past weekend I found a closeout sale on a REALLY cool Arai helmet that’s being phased out.  The model is about 2 years old, and when the manager at CycleGear told me about the shelf-life, I got worried about it’s safety.  Thanks to Google and good old-fashioned research skills, it looks like that Arai is in my near future after all.

[Please read this post aloud using a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek tone ]

God damn it!  Out of the thousands and thousands of page views my blog sees it appears that people still aren’t reading the IMPORTANT posts.

When the Rolling Stone publishes articles like this one and people freak out, I just can’t wrap my head around it.  “Oh, we didn’t know this would happen!”  Of course you did.  Politics has been the exact same from day one!

When I say “red shit, blue shit” you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

If you don’t… Please, do us all a favor and read this again.

And while we’re on the topic, STOP CRYING.  It’s like you see the iceberg coming at you, and you’re surprised when the ship hits it.

Although it is a much more in-depth article, and it centers on children specifically… I’m still claiming that the writers at Time are spending time on my blog (enter tongue-in-cheek laughter here).  [See Pussification of America and More pussification.]

Helicopter Parents:  The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1940395,00.html

Keep it up fellas, next you can cover religion.  [See: Science is not the Devil, Love god, hate man, and many others].

I went to bed last night in a pretty sour mood. This morning’s alarm clock didn’t help much either.

8 am, and I’m stuck in bumper to bumper traffic with thousands of other suckers and Canadian tourists.

I should be on a yacht in the Mediterranean.  I should be surfing Digg on a beach somewhere in south America.  The only fight I get into with my girlfriend should be where we’re going to have brunch.

But I’m doing no such thing.  Just like every other putz out there, I’m driving to my 9-5, standing in line to order coffee, standing in line for a promotion, standing in line to stand in line…

Life choices seemed a lot more plentiful when I was 16.

“I’ll make my million by 30, retire by 40, and live the easy life.”

Sounds easy enough.  I see thousands of yachts on the ocean, the odds can’t be that stacked against us.

I read hundreds of articles about guys just like me who made millions with ideas like Myspace, Facebook, Google, and Yahoo.  I’m already a software engineer, it’s just a matter of time!

I’ll settle for my mid-level sports car now, and get that Ferrari later.  OK, maybe one more mid-level sports car… I’m still establishing myself in this industry.  Wow, so Ferrari’s are like 150k?  Hmm.  Doesn’t look to realistic based on my income.  Maybe a used Porsche, that way I can feel successful.

So, has reality set in?  Or did we just give up?  Is it so ridiculous that life didn’t work out this way?  Makes you wonder where you missed the turn, no?