The best laid plans of… Idiots

I read an article earlier today explaining why Romney lost the election.  The writer claimed that his biggest problem was the absence of cash early in the campaign.  Other articles have claimed that the 47% gaffe cost Romney the win, and still others are sticking with the Latino vote or maybe it was “all the single ladies”.

But the truth is that none of these is solely responsible for Mitt’s loss, and honestly, the combination of all of them still doesn’t account for Obama’s win.  The real reason wasn’t Hispanic voters and anyone who owns a TV or a radio knows it sure as hell wasn’t related to campaign funding.  It was Mitt himself.

How quickly we forget the early days of the circus-like battle for the Republican nomination.  The most entertaining part of the entire election process, for me, was to watch the almost overnight “support” that Mitt Romney created when it was clear he would get the official Republican nomination.  Now, you’ll have to think back a bit, through the haze of campaign commercials and robo-calls.  Let’s think back to a time where Romney was not only trailing behind the infamously insane Rick Santorum, but even crazier Michele Bachmann, and way behind “Moon-base” Newt Gingrich.  No one was singing his praises then…  But I digress.  It is silly of me to think Republican voters weren’t “all in” on their pal Mitt from the start.

Or is it?

Maybe what really happened here is that the GOP settled for the candidate who said the least number of fucking-stupid things in public.  Maybe the right just decided that cult-ish white-bread mayonnaise wasn’t quite as bad as a heaping helping of bat-shit crazy horse radish.  And, this seemed like a safe play.  Well, right up until the media got a heavy helping of Mormonism’s wacky beliefs and Pseudo-religious Republican rape commentary.

It’s post time, Republican leadership.  Time to accept that, not only did you put a douche-canoe in a completely unfair position of having to run against a far less douchey politician, but you’ve completely lost control of your party altogether.  It’s not hard, really, to pick out the exact point when things started to spiral out of control.  You were never “in control”.  And to even suggest that you had a handle on the evolution of your own platform is just completely invalid.

And while we’re on the topic of post time, I’d like to take a minute and call out the Romney fans.  You aren’t Romney fans, you are “Guy-Who-Is-Not-Obama” fans.  Seriously, you would have voted for Republican nominee Count Dracula if he was running against Obama, so stop telling everyone what a huge Romney fan you are.

None of you fucktards even knew he existed before he started shaking his rich ass in your face at the Republican National Convention debates.

So what happened to the Republican party platform?

The Tea Party happened.  Started by the GOP as “a far right-wing” group (presumably to make the rest of the party appear more centrist) “The Tea Party” concept has now totally backfired and completely taken over the Republican party.  Unsurprisingly, this has left no discernible centrist opinion on the red side of the isle and systematically alienated all but the most religious and thereby, least logical, of the bunch.  I don’t want to ruin the end of the movie, GOP, but most of the country is CENTRIST.  Seriously mind blowing stuff, I know!  Sorry you had to find out this way.

The Good News

If nothing else at least we’ve proven that the Faux News fear mongering, although almost as addictive as Jerry Springer, didn’t sway the American public to the point of actually electing this guy based solely on the fact that he “isn’t Obama”.  Additionally, just like the last dozen wanna-be-President-elects, Romney will quietly slip into 3rd page news and continue to make insanely stupid commentary distancing him from the rest of the population from the sidelines.

The Bad News

We have, yet again, proven that out of 300 million Americans, the best we can come up with is more bought-and-paid-for, corporate-backed whores who stand for nothing and will completely change their “beliefs” on a moment’s notice to get your vote.

Red vs Blue, everyone looses

If you’ve spent anytime at all reading my blog, it should be abundantly clear that I am a non-partisan political pundit (and I use the word “pundit” VERY loosely LOL).  I am amazed by emails from people calling me “leftist” or “Democrat”.  For the record, I think this presidency has done an equally mediocre job in comparison to the last 10 (save maybe Bush Jr, who completely butt-fucked us).

Over the past 10 years, I’ve seen a complete shift of individual thought to mob-mentality akin to Shakespeare’s Caesar (the fickle character of the Roman people).  The danger of partisan politics is America’s affinity to believe that if one side is wrong, the other MUST be right. Based on principles of basic logic, this is ridiculous.

The left (Democrats/liberals) claim that Fox news is the extremist lap dog of the GOP (Republicans/conservatives) spreading hate and fear.   The right claim that MSNBC and CNN are in bed with the liberals and pushing socialist propaganda.  My point is, that it doesn’t matter which of these is accurate.  The media and politicians are controlling you by forcing you to “pick a side”.  It’s a standard “Wag the Dog” scenario, and they’ve been doing it for years.

As an American you have more than red or blue options.

I heard some angry protester on the news a few nights back screaming about “a revolution, overthrowing the socialist government and putting things right“.  People, let me assure you that we are far from able to pull something like this off.  The average American is bought and paid for by their political party and their religion.  They are filled with anger, hate, and propaganda.  To think that some Jose the plumber, or Ann the seamstress in this country has the where-with-all to put together anything even similar to a national revolution is a complete farce.  This is actually a good thing: If revolution was to occur, imagine what kind of psychopathic idiot would be at the helm (red vs blue).

I implore you America.  Stop watching political opinion shows and think for yourself.