Never anything on

Ever notice that there’s never anything on?  Well, if you have Comcast you do.  Because their fucking cable service doesn’t work.

That’s right… It’s broken again.  Here’s the latest score:

brokeSunday, my cable box in the living room started freaking out.  Blank screens, no guide information, sound would go out, DVR recordings wouldn’t play, etc.

So, on the phone we go…  Again.  After holding for what felt like 30 years, I hung up and went to the online chat.  As usual the agent had me restart the box, read the serial number, restart again, hop on one foot while reciting the Greek alphabet and burning incense, but… No dice.

All I ever got back from the cable box was a lonely “0” on the screen and no sound or video.

The agent informed me that the box is toast, and they had to swap it out.  Now I’ve had some experience with the repair jackasses coming to the house, so I opted for the “ship the new cable box” option.  It arrived Wednesday.

I plugged in the new box, and went through the online activation instructions (http://www.comcast.com/activate/) which didn’t work.  I know, I was surprised too!

The box reported via error message on the screen to call an 800 number.  That number took me to a menu with no option for my problem.  A second failure.

Finally, I went online and started another chat.  After unplugging the box, a ceremonial fencing match with technology, and a great deal of “I’m so sorry you are having that problem, sir” commentary, it finally started working.

sucksToday is Thursday.  The very next FUCKING day.  Now the cable box in the bedroom is freaking out.  Won’t play DVR’d shows, no sound, no picture, random fucking broken bullshit.

This time I decide to skip the phone bullshit and go straight to the web.  In a show of amazing patience and good nature, I don’t type in all caps and call the agent any names.  Although, I must admit the lure of vulgar vernacular was almost too strong.

Long story, longer… One of their technicians will be at the house Sunday between 5 and 7.  Which, when translated to Comcast technician-ese means Saturday at 11:00 AM when no one is fucking here…  Again.

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