MyExWifeIsAWhore.com

Where satire meets utter cynicism

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanks-misgiving

yeah, not quite like thatFar be it for me to ruin another holiday for you all (yeah right) but just for the sake of posterity, I thought I’d share the story of Thanksgiving.  Not the “native Americans and pilgrims sitting down to dinner version” though.  For a change, this year, lets try the truth.

Here’s what really happened:

“… ‘Thanksgiving’ did not begin as a great loving relationship between the pilgrims and the Wampanoag, Pequot and Narragansett people.  In fact, in October of 1621 when the ‘pilgrim’ survivors of their first winter in Turtle Island sat down to share the first unofficial ‘Thanksgiving’ meal, the Indians who were there were not even invited!  There was no turkey, squash, cranberry sauce or pumpkin pie.  A few days before this alleged feast took place, a company of ‘pilgrims’ led by Miles Standish actively sought the head of a local Indian leader, and an 11 foot high wall was erected around the entire Plymouth settlement for the very purpose of keeping Indians out!  Officially, the holiday we know as ‘Thanksgiving’ actually came into existence in the year 1637. Governor Winthrop of the Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed this first official day of Thanksgiving and feasting to celebrate the return of the colony’s men who had arrived safely from what is now Mystic, Connecticut.  They had gone there to participate in the massacre of over 700 Pequot men, women and children, and Mr. Winthrop decided to dedicate an official day of thanksgiving complete with a feast to ‘give thanks’ for their great ‘victory’…”
- source

Here’s another lovely tale:

“In 1637 near present day  Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside.  Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared “A Day Of Thanksgiving” because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.

Cheered by their “victory”, the brave colonists and their Indian allies attacked village after village. Women and children over 14 were sold into slavery while the rest were murdered.  Boats loaded with a many as 500 slaves regularly left the ports of New England. Bounties were paid for Indian scalps to encourage as many deaths as possible.

Following an especially successful raid against the Pequot in what is now  Stamford, Connecticut, the churches announced a second day of “thanksgiving” to celebrate victory over the heathen savages.  During the feasting, the hacked off heads of Natives were kicked through the streets like soccer balls.  Even the friendly Wampanoag did not escape the madness. Their chief was beheaded, and his head impaled on a pole in Plymouth, Massachusetts — where it remained on display for 24 years.”
- source

I don’t mean to ruin your family’s dinner but maybe, just for a minute, take a moment out and remember what organized religion and fear have done to the people who lived before us.

Happy Thanksgiving…  Doesn’t have the same “ring” to it now, does it?

posted by Keyboard Devil at 9:38 am  

Friday, November 19, 2010

Skull & Bones, “for reals”

Although (in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way) we expect senators and other high-ranking government officials to display a fair amount of corruption and greed, this is completely insulting.

Earlier this year, news broke out about an investigation of New York Democrat Charlie Rangel.  Rangel was accused of some pretty serious ethics violations (13 of them!) including:

  • Failing to pay taxes on rental income
  • Failing to properly file financial disclosure forms
  • Improperly soliciting donations

This was all over the news, and burned across news sites on the internet leading the “House Ethics Committee” (aka: Committee on Standards of Official Conduct) to investigate the charges and ensured us that action would be taken.

Fast forward 2 years:  The committee has found him GUILTY on ELEVEN of the ethics accounts.  Time for some authoritative action!

Forced resignation from Congress, arrest for corruption, fees and interest accumulated from the back taxes?

Actually, no.  None of that is what happened.

Rangel is responsible to pay the taxes he skipped out on.  And… That’s it.

If this were you or me, we’d already be in prison.  We’d be calling everyone we ever knew to try and get enough money together to just cover the bail, and maybe part of the massive fees and interest tearing through our credit scores.

Haven’t you had enough America?  Haven’t you been burned, and ass-pounded enough to stop electing these motherfuckers?  Why isn’t anyone paying attention to these bastards’ track records?

This dirtbag congressman is being protected from legal action from his congressman buddies, and NO ONE CARES.

Everyone in congress is as corrupt as the next one!

I hope every representative reads this, so I can call each one of you a corrupt fucking thief.

posted by Keyboard Devil at 2:40 pm  

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Blocked

I found out this morning that my blog is blocked by WebSenseMyExWifeIsAWhore.com is now, officially, adult material.

ROFL
posted by Keyboard Devil at 11:58 am  

Thursday, November 4, 2010

It’s 1838 again!

Stereoscopy was the first name for “3D” technology.   It was invented in 1838.  This isn’t anything new, and has been a gimmick to get people to the theaters since Jaws 3D back in the 80′s.

Seriously, 3D movie makers…  STOP.  No one is going to buy this shit and I’m tired of wearing those fucking glasses.

Touting yesterday’s technology as today’s breakthrough is an idea owned by Harley Davidson.

posted by Keyboard Devil at 7:12 am  

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