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Here, this should ruin your afternoon:  America: We’re Not #1! [comic]

Short version: America sucks on almost every measurable scale.

Have a nice day

Recently, “for some unknown reason”, according to the people over at the Sun Pass company, my credit-card-backed Sun Pass (automated toll paying device) failed to charge me for some tolls.

Almost immediately, the system sprang into action!  I received a notice in the mail that my transponder did not pay the tolls and I needed to contact the company right away.

So I did.  And after a 15 minute conversation, the Sun Pass company charged me the tolls and updated my account.  All was right with the world.

And then, enter the government for some fail with a capital “F”.

About a week later, I received a letter from the Expressway Authority stating that I had some unpaid tolls.  The same unpaid tolls from the Sun Pass folks.  At this point I thought, “OK, they’re a little behind.  I’ll call the Sun Pass folks and straighten this out”.

So I call the 800 number for Sun Pass and get a guy who explains to me that the Expressway Authority is a county facility, and Sun Pass is a State facility, so I would have to call the Authority directly and explain to them that Sun Pass has received my payment.  He even gave me a confirmation number to reference.

Here’s where the fun starts.  Unlike the fancy 800 number I got for Sun Pass, the Transit Authority is specific to a county so they have a local number.  Luckily I live in the area so I didn’t pay a long-distance fee for the call, but otherwise this would have been a nice punch in the crotch.

So, now I have this woman on the phone who says that they have no record of my payment.

Here’s how the conversation went:

TA Woman: “Sir, we have no record of your payment of these tolls”

Me: “Well, I just got off the phone with the folks over at Sun Pass and they gave me this confirmation number, 10…”

TA Woman: “Sir, let me stop you there. Our confirmation numbers don’t start with 10, the number you have is a Sun Pass confirmation number.”

Me: “Um, what?  I don’t understand, don’t you have the same systems as the Sun Pass people?”

TA Woman: “No, sir we have no access to that data.”

Me: “Well then how do you know that I paid any tolls at all?”

TA Woman: “We don’t sir, we only know when the Sun Pass company doesn’t pay the toll in your name.”

Me: “So, if the Sun Pass company makes a mistake, like the one that got me on the phone to start with… You know what, never mind.  What do I have to do to fix this?”

TA Woman: “We are willing to wave the transaction fee so your balance is $10.67, we accept all major credit cards.”

Me: “But my account is in good standing, I have already paid the tolls.”

TA Woman: “Sir, can you mail me confirmation that these tolls have been paid?  You’ll find the PO Box address on your notice.”

Me: “I have to mail you confirmation?  I have a confirmation number from Sun Pass, and additionally, you, the Transit Authority, will get the tolls paid IN MY NAME from Sun Pass, right?”

TA Woman: “Well, yes sir, but we have no way of reconciling that payment.  Sun Pass sends us the toll, but not the information surrounding when or where that toll was paid.”

Me: “What the…?  You know what?  We’re already past the value of this $10. Here’s my credit card number…”

This guy is my new personal hero.   I’m a little upset that I’m just learning about him now.

Sam Harris is a philosopher, student, a PhD in neuroscience, and author who is a strong proponent of scientific skepticism (among other things).

Start with this video, and if you get hooked (as I am sure you will), watch this one.  Make sure you have a hat on (or maybe a helmet!), to hold in your blown-out-mind.

While you’re at it, watch some of the other amazing videos on TED’s site.