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Once again, the holiday season is upon us. And by upon us, I mean suffocatingly draping its bloated self all over our bodies and squeezing out every last penny in our wallets.

I’ve never really been a holiday person, but if you’ve read my blog that should be no surprise.  However, seemingly to add insult to injury, even the Christians aren’t “holiday people”. Does anyone even know what this holiday is about anymore? What is it that we are celebrating, trees strung with lights? Fat guys breaking-and-entering to bring childrens’ toys? Flying reindeer? Really?

Let’s talk for a moment about the “Christmas spirit“. This is the “good will towards others” that results in traffic jams, fist fights in department stores, overcrowding of churches by people who only show up once a year, and further credit card debt.

Sounds to me like another reason to pack the malls and force me to find, yet again, the perfect gift for everyone I know.

Obama got it all wrong, instead of a $700 billion payoff for corporate America, he should have just created a second Christmas in June.

You want to save the economy?  Just guilt 300 million Americans into spending every cent they don’t have on shit they don’t need.

Here’s a thought. I’ll keep the $500 it costs me to buy gifts for everyone and their brother this year, and spend it on the shit that I want. You do the same, and we’ll call it even.

No snow-globes, no house lights, no inflatable lawn Santas (what the f#$% do these have to do with that Jesus fellow?), but let’s keep the cookies. I love me some cookies. Hell, let’s just make those all year ’round.

While visiting a Cycle Gear yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with the manager.  Apparently, your helmet has a “shelf-life”.  Meaning that, like bananas, you’ll eventually have to throw out your $700 Arai helmet because it “goes bad”.  But, when?  How long does a helmet last?

So, I did some research to find out what the life-cycle is like.

A Google search returns literally hundreds of results on internet forums and magazine websites, but I decided to go right to the source.  Since I own a Shoei, I went to them directly.

First, find out what your manufacture date is:

“Where can I find the Production Date of my SHOEI helmet?
The Production Date is located on a sticker under the center pad of your helmet.”  - source

According to the research I’ve done, 5 years is your shelf life. Now we ask the question: “Is that 5 years from manufacture date? Or 5 years from when I bought it?”

Surely, you can buy a helmet that’s been sitting on the shelf for 2 years, does this mean that you have to replace it 3 years after you buy it?  This question was actually a hell of a lot harder to answer, and consequently not addressed on their website.

With a little more digging, I found this:

Helmet Replacement
Ultimately, the useful service life of a safety helmet is dependent on the intensity and frequency of its use. Helmet replacement is recommended even if only one of the under-mentioned points applies:

1. The helmet was subjected to an impact.
2. The comfort padding or the retention system has become loose due to heavy use or display signs of deterioration.
3. The synthetic foam padding displays signs of heavy use and the helmet feels too loose. Test: with the retention system fastened, the helmet turns to the side when you gently shake your head.
4. There are indentations in the EPS liner and/or white scratches can be seen on surfaces with black paint.
5. Even if none of these is applied, we, SHOEI, recommend replacement in 5 years after it’s first purchased at retail.

So there we have it, right from the manufacturer’s mouth: Assuming the helmet is in new condition, you should replace it 5 years from purchase date.  Either way, I’m due for a new helmet.

This past weekend I found a closeout sale on a REALLY cool Arai helmet that’s being phased out.  The model is about 2 years old, and when the manager at CycleGear told me about the shelf-life, I got worried about it’s safety.  Thanks to Google and good old-fashioned research skills, it looks like that Arai is in my near future after all.

[Please read this post aloud using a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek tone ]

God damn it!  Out of the thousands and thousands of page views my blog sees it appears that people still aren’t reading the IMPORTANT posts.

When the Rolling Stone publishes articles like this one and people freak out, I just can’t wrap my head around it.  “Oh, we didn’t know this would happen!”  Of course you did.  Politics has been the exact same from day one!

When I say “red shit, blue shit” you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

If you don’t… Please, do us all a favor and read this again.

And while we’re on the topic, STOP CRYING.  It’s like you see the iceberg coming at you, and you’re surprised when the ship hits it.

Although it is a much more in-depth article, and it centers on children specifically… I’m still claiming that the writers at Time are spending time on my blog (enter tongue-in-cheek laughter here).  [See Pussification of America and More pussification.]

Helicopter Parents:  The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1940395,00.html

Keep it up fellas, next you can cover religion.  [See: Science is not the Devil, Love god, hate man, and many others].