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The third chapter of my article “Tricks of the Trade”.  See the first post here See the whole category here. There are 2 more chapters, one each week, so get your learn on and check back next Sunday!

Now, get to reading…

3. “Shake hands and come out fighting!”

“One thing you can count on is that women will consistently make poor choices regarding their relationships. How many times have you thought ‘WTF!?  What is that girl doing with that douche-bag!?’”

Being good looking and confidant are not enough if you don’t have the “in” with your target. You actually have to talk to her! There are a few approaches we’ll discuss in this section.

First, let’s get the lingo out of the way.

An “in” is what I call your connection to the girl. You’ve seen her before, you have a mutual friend, or you share the same hairstyle (God help you!), whatever.

The “target” is the girl you’re after. She’s the one you’re trying to meet/date/get to know/take home.

Your “wing man” is a friend/brother/what-have-you that is along for the ride. He knows the rules, and the two of you have worked out the proper signals to know when to save you when saving is needed, and get the hell away when the situation calls for it. You will be his wing man as well, so communication is key.

The Cold Approach

This is, by far, the ugliest way to meet someone. The cold approach is a lot like trying to sell a product or service by way of telephone solicitation. I always suggest against this type of approach for a few reasons:

1. You’re giving her (and everyone she talks to about you) the impression that you pick up women all the time.
2. Many women will turn you down based solely on spite for being considered a ‘pick-up’.
3. This method makes you look un-cultured, and sophomoric to all those standing around you watching, including other targets.
4. Based on all of the above, your first impression can be shot out the window before you even open your mouth.

This is not to say that the cold approach can’t be used, just that it is the most difficult to pull off. I’ve found that this approach is the most commonly used meeting technique at nightclubs.

Care to join us for a game?

This is a variation of the cold approach that works much better than walking up out of nowhere and introducing yourself. The idea here is “get her involved”! Shoot some pool, play some darts, start a drinking game, whatever… Be wary of the first impression during this meeting, it can make or break you.

Have I seen you here before?

This is an incredibly old, but still quite useful technique. When you become a frequent patron in a bar, restaurant or nightclub you’ll start to recognize the familiar faces that also frequent the establishment. Although this is still a bit of a cold approach, you can rest assured (a little, anyway) that you already have something in common. It’s always a good idea to have a wing-man along for the ride, hanging back ready to save you if need be. If you keep him at the table where you’re sitting, or playing a game close by, you can signal and get the “Hey! Come over here!” save, if you need it. The trick to this type of meeting is not to turn it into a cold approach. If you have to walk more than 8 feet to talk to her, you’re too far away and this can become awkward. Try to position yourself near her (not right next to her) at a table or the bar before the attempted meeting.

Let me introduce you to my friend (a guy friend introduces you)

This is probably the best way to meet women. It is especially useful if your friend knows the girl better than just casually. People put great emphasis on their “friend’s friends” because they know and understand what it takes to be a friend to that person. There’s also a false-sense of security that goes along with this type of meeting. The girl, usually, believes that her ‘guy friend’ wouldn’t try to hook her up with a one-night-stand. So you’re already ahead of the game in that respect!

Let me introduce you to my friend (a girl friend introduces you)

This can be even more effective than the guy friend method. I say ‘can be’ because of the subconscious stipulations that occur when a meeting of this type happens. If a girl at your local hang out introduces you to one of her girl friends, there is generally an underlying set of questions (that your target has) that can’t be answered right away. “Were they ever involved?”, “How did it end, if they were”, “Would she introduce me to him if he was an ex?” These can be tricky to work around (especially if you did date the friend!) But, fear not, and stay on your “A” game. If you dated the girl that introduced you, try to stay away from the topic. Don’t blatantly avoid it, though, because she’ll see right through you.