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Step one in welcoming fat America was the wider seats in airplanes.  It was only a matter of time before our “restaurants” starting taking advantage of these human-hippos.  Enter Burger King, with their latest installment.

Prior to this, the BK added a “King” size to their value meals.  Yes, that’s right… A bucket of fries and a veritable gallon of soda just wasn’t enough.  So I’m in the local BK drive-thru, and I ask for a value meal in a “Medium” size.  The pimple faced teenager on the other side of the window informs me that “Medium is now small”.  What the hell does that mean?  So I ask her to explain.

It seems that Burger King has officially thrown out the “small” size for their “value meals”.  Apparently, either no one was buying them, or BK has decided that the portion once offered as “medium” is now the smallest sized portion they are willing to sell.

To recap: Small sizes are gone.  Medium is the new small, large is the new medium, and the size for true fatties “King” is now just called large.  That should make people feel a lot better about ordering their Double Whopper with cheese, trough of fries, and a DIET coke.

Doesn’t this sound like something we’ve seen before?  You can’t be “obese” if we change the definition!

America is headed down a dark and scary road with a massively overweight dead-end.

It seems to me that although Americans are “upset” about the bailout, we’re all taking it a little too well.  Call me crazy, but rolling your eyes and making one or two snide comments and then going about your day just feels like we aren’t doing enough.

In spite of countless news articles, TV coverage, and watercooler chats no one seems to have any kind of serious aversion to the financial madness that is engulfing the United States (and really the world economy) right now.  In fact, I’m willing to bet the house that most Americans don’t even know WHY we “have” to bail out these companies.

Yet another example of the media and economists twisting the idiotic public (this should scare you):

• In a survey conducted September 19-22 by the Pew Research Center, by a margin of 57 percent to 30 percent, Americans supported the bailout when asked “As you may know, the government is potentially investing billions to try and keep financial institutions and markets secure. Do you think this is the right thing or the wrong thing for the government to be doing?”
• In a survey conducted September 19-22 by Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times, by a margin of 55 percent to 31 percent, Americans opposed the bailout when asked whether “the government should use taxpayers’ dollars to rescue ailing private financial firms whose collapse could have adverse effects on the economy and market, or is it not the government’s responsibility to bail out private companies with taxpayers’ dollars?”.

(Wikipedia source)

Not to sound cliche but, if you aren’t outraged you’re not paying attention! Well, screw the rest of you, I’m taking a stand.  I vow, that if our “brilliant” government doesn’t have a reasonable plan in action, a fix for our economic insantiy, and SOME KIND of governance around lending by October of 09, I’m out.

You can have my citizenship, you can have my passport, hell, you can have my house (it won’t be worth its weight in lumber by then anyway).  I refuse to get up every morning and go to work to pay for corporations to fuck me, stupid people to stay in houses they couldn’t afford to begin with, and credit card companies to continue to “lend” money back to me at rediculous rates.

Apparently rocket science, the idea of a “passing lane” eludes most people.  I have found that this is the case regardless of what state, city, or highway you are on.

Here’s a pictorial representation.  It’s really NOT that difficult!  Please, please people… Let’s all promise to practice this.

Honestly, if I have to pass one more person on the right side on a major interstate… Like say, I-4…  I’m going to start running people off the road (OK, not really).  Be prepared for an earful of my wrath.