MyExWifeIsAWhore.com

I was born in a small but popular town just inside of Buffalo New York in the mid 70’s. I never wore braces because the rumor back then was that they did more harm than good. The kids in my neighborhood and I played stickball in the street, were exposed to lead-based paints, and played with toys that were banned 20 years ago by the paranoid and alertist masses. We ate paste, colored with toxic crayons, and played with toy guns and swords.

We ate preservative-packed foods, and rode in cars that didn’t even have seatbelts, car seats, or airbags.

Fast forward 25 years, and you’ll find me… Well… Just fine. In fact, I don’t have a single friend who was ever seriously injured or killed by any of the ‘dangerous’ activities mentioned above.

I wouldn’t say that I lead a “perfectly normal life”. Actually, my life is pretty amazing. I’m a well-educated, well-adjusted, professional and a home owner to boot. I’m going to go out on a limb here, and state that none of those crazy things I did as a child hindered, or slowed me in any way.

I was bored with school as a child, being smarter than most of my teachers, but you can bet that I was never “diagnosed” with any of these ridiculous “conditions” that the media would have you believe are anything but kids being kids. No one ever labeled any of us “Attention Deficit Disorder” or “Hyper Activity Disorder” or any other disorder for that matter.

Maybe someone can explain to me how it is possible, that our foods are better and nutrition is well-understood, and we are facing an epidemic of “morbid-obesity” here in the US.

Maybe someone can explain to me how it is possible that our medicine is more advanced but we have more recorded cases of asthma, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and depression than ever before in this country.

So, I’m listening to the radio the other day, and this commercial comes on.

“Do you have feelings of depression? Are you tired? Do you get headaches? Then you may be a candidate for a new medical treatment for anxiety disorder.”

What a bunch of bullshit. If you have feelings of depression, are tired and get headaches, maybe you just hate your job, or your marriage, or yourself. Maybe you need to get more sleep. Either way, it’s time to face the problem. Medication to hide your feelings isn’t going to fix you. I promise you that.

Anti-social behavior, depression, adult attention deficit disorder, I think it’s time we stop making up names, and start dealing with facts.

What the FUCK is a “dangerous toy”? Are you kidding me? We played with little sharp GI Joe’s with the ‘kung foo grip’ that could poke out an eye or cut your lip (if you were stupid enough to try and eat it), and easy-bake ovens that could burn down your house! But I never poked out an eye. I never burned down a house…

If the media had its way, they’d ban walking so your kids won’t fall down and scrape their little knees.

Cutting your lip while trying to eat a toy, burning your fingers on your hot toy cooking set, smashing your thumb while playing with your toy building set… This is how you LEARN. Stop “protecting” your kids and let them learn something for themselves. Like we did when we were kids. Remember that?

And, for Christ’s sake… Stop feeding your kids fast food, fatty. You’re KILLING them. When was the last time you saw your genitalia?

Just for a moment today while driving home from work, I caught myself thinking about Thoreau, Da Vinci, Frued, Whitman, Einstein… It seems incredible that such amazing things came from just one person. In over 30 years on this planet I haven’t accomplished anything even remotely close to what those people did.

My grandfather built a house. This doesn’t sound like an amazing accomplishment, but he’s gone, and that house is still there. I often think about that house. A young family could have purchased it, and 20 years from now some guy will remember that house as the home he grew up in. All of his memories will be of that house, and he’ll take his children there to visit their grandparents. Building a house isn’t nearly the Earth-altering accomplishment as “The Theory of Relativity”, but I haven’t built one. I haven’t even constructed a shed.

Not to say that I haven’t accomplished some pretty amazing things, I have had a hand in some of the largest web applications on the internet. That’s pretty cool… But it’s not someone’s home. It won’t facilitate the next generations memories.

I try to think about this every morning before heading off to wherever it is that I’m going that day. I don’t know if it’s changed my life at all, but it certainly puts things in perspective.

I need help. Serious professional help…

In the mid 1990’s I bought my first modding nightmare. It was a 1970 Chevelle. After every penny I could scrape up, it ran 11.87 in the quarter.

Already bored with drag racing, I sold that car and bought a 1992 Isuzu pickup truck which I promptly tore the inside out of and built an IASCA (International Auto Sound Competition Association) world competitor. I was one of the first standard sized pick-up trucks to be invited to the world finals.

I traded in the truck for a 2000 MR2 Spyder, and decided to get into AutoCross racing. I added things like a Saner sway bar, Cusco strut tower braces, full CUSTOM exhaust, and other stuff. After some pretty serious racing (and WAY more money that I am even willing to discuss), I took the car into the show scene where it won numerous awards including 1st place at Battle of the Imports here in Orlando. That cost me a full SARD body kit, Gram Lights racing wheels, Corbeau racing seats, a Playstation2 and other goodies. But the car was getting old, and I was ready, once again, for something new.

I traded the MR2 in on a 2004 350Z Enthusiast, I mean what the hell, let’s get into some drifting now! I added an intake, front strut tower brace, some carbon fiber bolt-ons, and a body kit.

Luckily, before putting TOO MUCH money into the Z, I wanted to get back into riding. So, I picked up a 2006 Kawasaki 650R to ‘ease’ my way back into riding. But that was another money-pit. Mods included Woodcraft clip-ons, Scorpion exhaust, Zero Gravity windsheild, and others.

And now, finally… I’ve picked up an 08 Triumph Daytona 675. I’ve had it less than 3 weeks and I’ve already managed to purchase and install: Naarden lowering link, flush front and rear blinkers, new grips, spools, and some other random bolt-ons.
I need help soon. Very, very soon. My garage is completely out of room for old, stock parts.

First, a disclaimer. Although the post below was written with ’sport’ bikes in mind, the rules at the end are pertinent to all types of bikes. However, this article is not meant to be technically accurate nor is my expertise up for discussion or consideration. If you don’t like the article, I don’t really care.

Since this is a topic that comes up often, I thought I’d write a brief, but meaningful article about owning, and riding your first motorcycle.

Basic bike knowledge

For the purpose of this article, there are 2 types of bikes (actually there’s a lot more than that, but we’re talking basics here): 4 cylinder and 2 cylinder engines. We call them: inline 4’s and twins (respectively). Bikes referred to as “600’s”, “750’s”, and “1000’s (or liter-bikes)” are inline 4’s. Twins are generally “250’s”, “500’s” and “650’s”.

Firstly, let’s get through the painful decision process. I’d recommend that you buy a used bike, something in the 10,000 - 25,000 mile range and preferably a twin (650 should be your max, 500 is recommended). There are thousands of opinions on the web about a first bike, and some will tell you to pick up a 600 and “grow into it”. I leave that choice up to you, but my opinion is that you will be better off with a twin. They’re lighter, easy to ride, and a HELL of a lot more forgiving when it comes to throttle and brakes.

Anyway, let’s talk about actually riding the bike

I can say with some certainty that if you stick to these 3 rules in all situations, you’ll be a safe rider who makes good decisions.

1. Assume you are invisible. That woman in the SUV in the next lane might be looking right at you, but believe me, she doesn’t see you.
2. Be deliberate. Weather you are turning, shifting gears, or just positioning yourself in a lane, be 100%. Meaning, if you want to change lanes, hit your signal, look over you shoulder, and make the lane change; don’t just wander over there, haphazardly.
3. If you’re late, take the car. We make poor choices when we are in a hurry.

Buy good gear

The basic rule of thumb on gear is, if you can’t afford a nice riding jacket, a good pair of boots, gloves, and a helmet, you can’t afford to own a motorcycle. It’s that simple. Now, I know the law in many states doesn’t require a helmet, but I can assure you that the law of nature does. That’s your brain, man… Protect it.

Never stop learning!

When you’re ready, be sure to read “The Pace” by Nick Ienatsch. It’s probably the best article I’ve read on riding in a group.

RideMyOwn.com has some pretty good reading as well. Go and check them out.

Ride safe, and I’ll see you in the twisties!

As long as I can remember loving music, I can remember listening to The Eagles. One song, specifically always meant a great deal to me. Download it here
Don Henley writes:
“We are like sheep without a shepherd and we don’t know how to be alone”.

Something I’ve come to understand about people (the one’s I’ve met at least), is that we don’t really know how to cope with life’s surprises by ourselves. We’ve never learned “to be still”. We’ve never learned to sit back, relax, and really let the depth of what’s happening set in. We’re afraid of going through that alone.

Admittedly, this includes me. Raised in a family where divorce was something “other” families did, I was never exposed to being adult, and alone.

Don’t get me wrong here, I know the word “alone” has a very negative connotation, but that’s not at all what I’m trying to convey by using it. The very point that I had to type that last sentence only proves what I’m saying. I’m tired of being €˜defined’ by my mate. I shouldn’t have to rely on some woman to define me, I should define myself.

“Though the world is torn and shakin’”
“Even if your heart is breakin’”
“It’s waiting for you to awaken”
“Someday you will”
“Learn to be still”

Yes I will, Don. I’m not afraid, and I’m ready to learn.

I drive a sports car. A really nice one, actually, with a number of ’show’ type modifications.

I popped out for lunch at the local fast food joint, and while I was waiting in line at the drive-thru, I noticed a guy in the parking lot. He was about my age, and looked to be doing well enough (financially), as his kids were climbing out of his new SUV.

He watched the traffic in the parking lot closely, and reacted to an oncoming vehicle by stretching out his arms and keeping the young children close to him as the car passed.

This guy was playing the ‘perfect’ dad. That was, until he got a look at me. His eyes appeared to glaze over and the expression ran from his face. With 3 very young boys in-tow, he continued across the lot on his way into the restaurant, never loosing sight of me.

As he and his kids crossed my path at the ‘pick-up’ window, he paused when they reached the sidewalk entrance-way and stared.

The eyes told me his entire story.

This occurrence is a VERY common one.

When men are born, the brainwashing begins. We are taught that love, marriage, children, the unity-of-family, and living a safe, comfortable, and BORING life are the standards by which we should judge our lives.

Love your wife, care for your children, buy a home, stick it out in your dead-end job, etc.

Well, I guess I’m breaking the mold. I’m not interested in having children. Diapers, whining, sleepless nights… You can have them.  And I tried the marriage thing once.  That was enough of that.

If what men really want is a cute little wife in an SUV driving the kids to soccer practice, then why do all ‘adult’ magazines and movies star 18-25 year old women? Why aren’t there advertisements for Mini-vans in Playboy? No articles about raising your kids the right way, or mowing your lawn, or taking the wife to Disney World for the week?

Seems pretty obvious to me.

Pornography placates the male mind. It plays to your whims, and fancies. And when it’s done, you get to return to your 1-home, 2-car garage, 2.2 kids, and a wife reality.

So, enjoy your life married guy. I’ll be the cat in the left lane with a 21 year old co-ed, flying by your Explorer, laughing.

This blog is a ranting-raving collection of a single guy’s mind.  I apologize in advance.